“Dad, so what’s the deal with sex?”

Oh, I guess we got to that point, ha?

Dad, I am a teenager, what did you expect?

Nothing less, kiddo. I am proud you even asked me for my opinion, most kids don’t consult with their parents about this issue.

Well, I can’t seem to think about anything else lately…<smile>

Okay. Let’s start with what you think sex is.

You know, a man and a woman doing… the thing.

The thing. What is “the thing”? the act itself, you mean?

Yes.

True, that is part of what sex is, but the physical aspect is only one part of what is going on during an act of love making.

There is a profound mental aspect going on as well that even precedes the physical act. First, the couple need to be attracted to each other and only then decide to stand naked in body and soul in front of each other and celebrate their values.

Celebrate??

Yes. I think that sex is a profound act of pleasure that is about celebrating life, values and the fact that you desire someone and are worthy to be desired by them. It is a deep, intimate, physical manifestation of spiritual love, where mind and body are one in enjoying your partner through your own body.

I thought you’re going to give me an explanation of how sex “works”, Dad. You know, how the bodies are getting together and that I should be careful not to get someone pregnant. I didn’t expect it to be about celebration of values.

You’ll figure out how “it works”, that is the easy part.

What some people do not get about sex their entire lives, is that it is everything that you are  bundled into one experience – your body, your values, your passions, desires and sense of life. Whoever views sex as a physical only exercise, meaning an act with no idea or value, misses out on the true enjoyment of sex. They see sex as “meat-rubbing” and treat it as a primitive or barbaric ritual.

The same goes for idea with no action, like the people who think that romantic love can be detached from sex – as if our mind is a separate entity from our body. Those people end up perverting sex into horrific acts that I really don’t want to talk about. I will just say that some religion beliefs has a lot to do with that.

And what about people who enjoy watching porn for instance? Where is the value there?

Sex IS physical, there is no question about it.

But it is only a part of the picture. You have to use caution when associating sex with only the physical aspect. You have to put it in perspective and think rationally about what is healthy and what is not. Porn can be erotic and arousing, but it can also include abuse and degradation – so you have to be very careful about those representations of sex.

On the other hand, you should think about sex, explore and experience all that the human body and mind have to offer.

You should also respect sex. It is a reflection of you and who you are. You can know a lot about a person by knowing who they sleep with and who they are attracted to. Choose the right partner, don’t ever fake it. Regard sex as a sacred experience reserved for those worthy of your romantic love.

What about being attracted to a girl I hardly know? How do you explain that?

That is a result of the potential values you see in her.

You see the way she looks, the way she moves, talks and behaves. All that information enables you to evaluate, even superficially, her character, personality and of course – how sexually attractive she is. Body and mind are one – it is a package and this is why you react emotionally and physically at the same time.

And when you get to know that girl a little more, then something extraordinary happens. You either realize she is a fake, and then your physical and emotional attraction to her diminishes, or hopefully, she turns out to be everything you dreamed of and more, in which case you mind and body react simultaneously.

This is the nature of human love and sexual attraction.

I knew I was going get a complex answer. I almost regret asking…

Man is a complex organism kid. It would be boring otherwise.

And by the way, sex would be the same as eating if it was only about the “thing”.

That’s true. Well, I guess I’ll have to ask that girl out and get to know her a little better…

You should.

Good night Dad.

Good night Kiddo.